Last night at about four in the morning, I had a hankerin’. A hankerin’ for a cheeseburger. No mom, I’m not pregnant and I wasn’t doing any illegal drugs, I really just had a desire to stuff my face at a time when we’re all told that stuffing our faces will make us fat. I wanted a big ol’ burger and I wanted it now.
As fat as Americans are these days, I wouldn’t think I’d have a problem finding a burger at that hour, but it did take some time. Fast food seemed like it would be the only option and I was almost heartbroken that I would have to finally break my oath of never eating at Krystal (which is no offense to Krystal…I’m sure their burgers are really good…I just have this deep hatred for their commercials, so have sworn them off). Though I love to have a little Mickey D’s, Wendy’s or Taco Bell every once in a while, I really wanted to find a burger worthy of my time, and knew I wouldn’t get that at any of those places. At four in the morning, every minute is precious. You never know when a kitchen is going to close.
I’ve been in Memphis for almost four years and I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the many restaurants and cuisines, so I started where most people would, the late night bars — my first attempt being the Two Way Inn. For those of you not from Memphis, the Two Way is a bar that opens after all the other bars in town close. It’s quite arguably the smallest bar in the city, but a great place to go if you’re just not ready to go home after hours. Mainly for the drunk people watching, one of my personal favorite pastimes, but they are also known for their tasty bar food. However, much to my dismay, the Two Way is no longer the Two Way. In fact, after a quick conversation with a regular bartender of the joint, who informed me that the owner isn’t going to renew the lease due to increases in rent; it’s rumored that the Two Way will soon have a one-way ticket to parkinglotdom. Twas a sad, sad moment to know that such a legendary Memphis establishment would be no more.
Luckily for me, the former Two Way bartender led us to what I am going to call the “Greatest Late Night Burger” in the city. A burger with so much flavor your mouth will explode. A burger with so much meat your biceps get a workout lifting it. And the best part? A burger so cheap you can actually afford to get a few beers to go along with it. The ‘Greatest Late Night Burger’ in Memphis is at Alex’s Tavern.
Not at all what I would have expected from a little dive like Alex’s. I expected a flat, burger that would send grease running down my arms as I bit into it. But that is not what I got. What I got was an enormous, well-seasoned, perfectly cooked (the slightest bit of pink), non-greasy but juicy, cheeseburger, complete with beef, cheese, mustard and pickles with ruffled chips on the side. This was a burger worthy of my time. Each bite was like sex — messy, delicious, and incredible.
The only thing I regret about my Alex’s burger experience is taking it home to eat it. Had I been in a mood to bump elbows with the many drunks that Alex’s holds, the event would have probably made the burger even tastier. However, an Alex’s burger, in the comfort of your own home, where you can wolf it down without people pointing and asking for a bite was the way I chose to enjoy it and enjoy it I did.
